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Friday, December 19, 2003
I guess Dee's been too busy to get online and blog, but hopefully she'll add something soon! Nothing new here, much. I slept for a couple of hours and then woke up. Having a problem with a muscle in my neck/shoulder today and it is really sore. Hopefully it will work out though, nothing serious. I think I just slept the wrong way.
Ah, wait. Something new to talk about. My brother called and left a message on the answering machine yesterday morning. Mom had called and left him a message asking if he was going to get to come home this year for Christmas. We like to know so if he is there is something here for him to open; otherwise we just send him money (that's always what he asks for anyway). So his message is like; "Hey. I don't have the time or money to come home. Don't worry about the money; I'll be alright. Don't worry about me or anything, I'll be alright. I do think it was pretty shitty that you forgot about my birthday and I didn't even get a call; I did call Dad and leave a message on his birthday. Anyway but that's fine just forget about sending me anything; I'll be alright. So no I will NOT be home for Christmas. Bye." Oh my god can I tell you how much that pissed me off? Mom got SO upset and was crying and stuff. He is such an asshole. I don't know why he's got to be like that. Mom has always bent over backwards for BOTH of us, but he has really put her into a LOT of debt (I mean just to mention that he stuck her with a $20,000 car for one thing!!!). So I called his cell phone and left him a nice message. It went something like this: "Hey Brian. We got your message but I'm not going to let Mom listen to it. I'm just going to tell her you called. As for your birthday, we didn't forget it. We can never get in touch with you anymore. And by the way, I don't remember getting a call on my birthday. Or Mom's birthday, or Mother's Day or when Mom was in the hospital having surgery on both of her eyes where she could've went blind. But we never hear from you unless you want money anyway. So I guess you get what you give and you reap what you sow. And I thank you for calling Dad on his birthday because he appreciated it. When you stop acting like our family up in North Carolina things might be ok. But right now you're reminding me of Linda and Donna Jean. I guess you like their side of the family better now because you sure are acting like them. We love you; we've always loved you and we hope you have a merry christmas and tell Christy we said have a merry christmas. Bye."
I thought I did ok. I was SO pissed I wanted to cuss his sorry ass out but I didn't. I figured I wouldn't sink to his level. He's just trying to lay a guilt trip on Mom. And the only reason he called Dad is because he was trying to remind us about his birthday (they're both in October) and he had asked me to get Mom to send him $500.00 for his birthday. I mean he knows how Mom struggles with money. And yes I've been at home for a while and with me having medical issues and trying to go through with getting medicaid or some way to get to a doctor money has been even tighter. I do help though at home, and with things Mom and Dad ask me to help with. Brian has never helped. Anyways, he calls us after us not hearing from him since the Christmas before and talks to Mom. Of course he tells her he's just calling to say hey and see how everyone is doing. When he gets me on the phone however he says, "Yeah I called cuz I need to hit Mom up for some money." I told him "Good luck cuz she aint' got none." So I ask him, are you having problems with some bills or something? He says no, the bills are fine and he's ok with money. He tells me that a friend of his that he works with is getting married. Brian tells me, "Well I wasn't supposed to be in the wedding and didn't want to be but the guy put me in it anyway and I didn't know it. So now I need $150 bucks to buy the tux." I said "Um Brian... if the guy put you in the wedding without you knowing about it and without you really wanting to be in it I would think it's his place to get the tux. Or at least to rent one." He's like, yeah well but you know he won't do that so I gotta get it. Then he says.... "Some of the guys at work are going on a deep sea fishing trip and we're all pitching in to charter the boat and stuff. It's gonna be $350 dollars. I don't wanna back out cuz all of the guys are going and stuff." I said WHAT? lol. It took me and Mom two months just to get our $10.00 fishing license and he wants $350 to charter a boat?!? Then he says to me, "Well one of the guys has an uncle who had some horrific hunting accident a few months ago. He like blew off his legs somehow. He (the guy he works with) says that his uncle needs to get outta the house anyways so we're going to invite him cuz he won like some big settlement money from his accident and we're all hoping he goes cuz if he does he will pay for everything." I couldn't believe that. Here they are trying to get this poor guy who just had a horrific accident to go on their trip so they can squeeze him to pay for their trip. What a great group of guys eh? Sometimes (most of the time lately) I am so ashamed to call him my brother. I love him immensely, and no one is perfect by far..... but he is just so outright cold and is such a USER! And I don't know where he gets off thinking this but he actually feels like Mom OWES him something. HA! If anything all three of us (Me, Dad and Brian) owe her more than we could EVER repay her in three lifetimes. My Mom really is a saint. lol. I have never ever met anyone in my life that has a heart as big as her. And I'm not just saying that. I've never met anyone who is such a good person that would lay down in the cold ass mud if she thought she could help someone by doing it. But the bad thing is that people out there take advantage of her because of it. We all take advantage of her somehow; even me. We get her to do errands and of course being a Mom me and Dad are always "Mom do this, Mom will you do that?". That's just natural though I guess, even if it is bad. I try not to do it. And I don't take advantage of her like other people have. I don't use her just because I know I can. I wish there was some way or something to really show her how much I love her. She is the greatest woman I will ever know; that I know without a doubt. And it pains me because she's had such a hard life and still has a hard life. Working at that plant is killing her and her health just gets worse and worse. But she keeps on doing it because she has to. Even with that softball sized tumor under her arm that hurts everytime she uses it won't stop her. She needs to have it removed b/c it could become malignant but she can't even do that because she can't take the time off of work and be able to pay the bills. It's sad how this country eats your ass up if you're middle class. Everything is available to you if you're rich or poor. I mean there are government services to help. But if you're middle class...... you're screwed. You make too much to qualify for any assistance and you make too little to do anything but scrape by by the skin of your teeth. I can't tell you the times I've seen her break down and cry because she's so stressed from playing the "bill game"> you know...... which ones to pay this month; which ones to let slide. Ugh, I guess I'm just disallusioned with the way the world is today.
Well I'm gonna go hop around on internet land and read the news for a bit and then try to get some more rest. Dee I hope you read this and are doing fine and work hasn't hurt you today! Love ya take care.
