Lovebuds Anonymous

Hey someone out there, won't you buy me a cool new Kona Hoss bike? *chuckle* You know what sucks? I have the desire to change my life. Only I know that it's not going to be something that I do out in the public. So it would be great to have some exercise equipment at home or a cool bike to ride.... but I'm broke. If *someone* would have paid me the debt that they owed me like they promised I might would get that bike. I really have been wanting to learn to ride. I don't know why the desire has hit me so bad lately, but it's there. And they always say that you shouldn't ignore those gut feelings; but what are you to do? I can't go and steal someone's bike. And I'd have to have a GOOD bike to hold my big ass.

I think that's one of the big things that sucks the happiness and inspiration right out of me like lightning. the STRESS of knowing that I want to change myself but not being able to help myself simply because I can't afford it. I want to sue the government for giving my tax dollars, when I was paying taxes, to illegal aliens and people who pop out babies like tictacs while they let me sit here, alone and suffering after I've asked for help and they've slammed the door in my face. I wish I was some brilliant political mind who stood up and could get changes implimented. A civil rights leader for FAT PEOPLE. Can you imagine?!?

So I guess in a little while I'll head to Jackie's. She always wants to talk about work and ever since the shit went down (I used to do the same job) it sort of bums me hearing about it. But I guess I should just let her go on about it because she's my friend and I want her to be able to talk to me. Maybe I can spearhead the topic onto something more interesting. lol I'll try. She really is a good person. We all have flaws, Gods know I have more than I can count. I need to try and make more of an effort to go and see her I guess. Ack shit I'm two glasses behind on my water today. OOhhh I didn't think about that, shit. That's another thing. I try not to use the bathroom at her house *sigh* I'll just have to hold it till I bust a gut I guess. Maybe I shouldn't drink any more water for now so hopefully I won't have to go for a long time (until I get home or a store or something).

I really wish shithead would have sent me the money she owes me. That's not going to happen I guess. Well, may her life take out that money in triplicate on her sanity... which according to most isn't all there anyways. I thought maybe I could trust her though, now I know I was wrong. Damn me for not listening to Dee, the fountain of all that's good and holy. *teehee*

Lemme get my bigass up and go get ready. C ya after a bit.

- posted by Loki's Concubine @ 11:47 AM