Lovebuds Anonymous

HOLE IN MY BUCKET

It's been a few days hasn't it? Nothing exciting to report I guess, just same old same old. I'm feeling sort of bummed this week, I suppose it's because I know that I'm not doing like I should be. I have a problem maintaining motivation. I have all the will power in the world, but it seems to come and go whenever it wants. It's like I fill my bucket up with it from some neat well and by the time I get to where I'm going it's gone and I discover there's a hole in my bucket. So back to the well I go. This week's been bad. I know I'm going to have a gain, but I'm praying that I won't. LOL. Need to start guzzling water NOW. Anyways, it's more than that I suppose. Just hitting another dreary cloud on life's highway. I'll get over it soon. Nothing major. It would just be nice to find motivation and be happy for a long continuous stretch and not just in spurts. Bleah.

Caught up with an old friend today. Haven't talked to her in a long time, but it seems that she's going through a lot of 'self-discovery' too. It's nice to know I'm not going through this alone. LOL. I wish her the best and that things work out in a way where she, her husband and her children are satisfied and happy.

I'm planning on going to social services this week sometime. I have to wait until I can get Mom to write that letter for me. I'm scared, and ashamed for some reason. I can't put my finger on it. Why should I be embarrassed to go ask for help? The gods know that there's millions of people getting money just for sitting home popping out kids. And they'll tell you that point blank! But, it's not in me to do that like it is them.... they're proud to be cheating and I don't want to be like that. So I'm gonna have to take some good advice and look at it as a way to get on my feet and then all of the good that I could do for everyone else when I'm stable and prospering. Doesn't seem so bad that way!

Well gonna go I guess and catch up on the news. Later gator.

- posted by Loki's Concubine @ 4:12 PM