Lovebuds Anonymous

Gobble Gobble

Well I just had a very entertaining conversation with some lady at the cable company.

Seriously, I think I almost made her piss herself.

I called to check into DVR, being that we have a digital cable box in the family room, not that the family ever gets to watch TV there. You see, the family room has somehow, over time, turned into the "Father is the TV Master Room." Yep, that's how it is. And that wouldn't be so bad if the old man watched a variety of shows.

Oh no. That's not gonna happen. Time Warner, in all their glory, decided to put the Outdoor network on their lineup. Bejesus what are you thinking Ted?!? Alas, we are in the south after all. I suppose it was brilliant marketing strategy. After all, there are two main types of people here; the preppy polo-shirts who cream themselves while watching the Golf channel..... and the hillbilly rednecks who are downing cans of Pabst blue ribbon while watching Ted Nugent's gnarly ass wrestle wild boars on the Outdoor network. *sigh*

Where is my channel? The one for the fat-ass computer addicted, blogging pathetically women of the south? Oh wait, I forgot. They do have TLC and the Food network. Guess I'm all good!

And so dear readers, it is safe to say that osmosis does in fact work. Because I HATE watching television in the bedroom (and also the fact that we still have the antiqued cable boxes back there that your Grandma owned), I choose to sit in here and piddle around on the computer rather than torturing my back by trying to watch tv while laying in bed.

I yearn for a room partition. Hell I'd even settle for a dirty layer of emergency room gauze at this point. ANYTHING to cut the sound down so that the blaring of wild turkey calls and moose in heat bleats don't echo in to my sensitive ears while computing. I'm starting to worry. I've literally had dreams of being able to detect and identify animal calls. The last trip in the mountains I spent the time riding and scanning the trees for 'antler rubs' or 'bear scratching'. I scan the ground for scat and tracks. I whisper to the camera when someone's trying to get a picture. I know I grew up country and that these things can come in handy, but damn it! It's not healthy to watch hunting 24/7 whenever possible. (It's not healthy for me to even hear it from the next room.)

I told all of this to the lady on the telephone. She was giddy with laughter and said she'd never heard all this before. All is good though, as she decided to give me a discount on our 'speed of light' package (that would include my savior, the cable internet). Heh. I now feel that I've accomplished something today. I refuse, however, to do as she said and tell the old man that they have now included the Outdoor network in the InDemand services. I'll save that for Christmas.

- posted by Loki's Concubine @ 12:08 PM