Lovebuds Anonymous

Please Wake Me Up!

Ok, I thought last night when Wos lost her internet connection that I'd be able to get to bed early and catch up on my sleep. After all, it gets boring playing pool by yourself. So I went to bed early, read a few chapters in the book I'm reading (more to come on that in 3D Mindtrap later) and eventually went to sleep (probably sometime around 1:30am.) Ok, I must have really needed the sleep b/c I slept really late today, well noonish. Anyway, I would have rather had someone wake me up because I had the worst dream that I've had in a long time. Really, really horrible. And so now I sit here worrying, because sometimes in the past my dreams have acted as warnings and that scares me. Anyways...People can laugh at me, think I'm stupid, not get me or whatever... in fact they did that in the dream as well, but I can't help it. I love animals way more than people. If you're an animal lover or have pets that are 'part of the family' then you know exactly what I mean. Animals are awesome. People suck. About the worst thing an animal will do is shit or piss on your possessions to get revenge, and in the next moment they'll forgive you for whatever it is that you've done.. Or they think you've done. I don't have to explain what people will do, the bastages.

Ok, so my dream. Well, as most of you know my godparents have horses and a little puppy. Well, she's not exactly a puppy... But she's tiny (Pomeranian-weener dog mix) so I still call her a puppy. In any case, I call her my "Niecey" and love her to death. I'm a dog person, I can't help it. And she's just the sweetest little thing!! (My own dog is of course, my number one baby! But I didn't dream about her so...) Here's what my Niecey looks like (another nickname for her is Pup Pup.. But her real name is Precious). This is one of her holiday outfits hehe. The snowman!

Ok you get the idea. I had this unusually long and VERY detailed dream in which I was walking down the road. My godmother was walking down the road behind me, with Precious on her leash. I looked back at them, and they were at this sort of crossroads thingy and there were two cars coming. Now I guess Precious had just realized I was down the road because she took off into the road. The bad part is that she has one of those leashes that retracts into the hand thingy. So when she took off, she had a good bit of string that she pulled out. The first car was going left and it didn't hit her, but the next one was a truck and she saw it and tried to run like between the tires (the left and right... b/c it was already over her). But the front tires caught her and OMG it was so sickening in my dream, the sound and sight. The tire rolled over her and then kicked her back against the bottom of the car. By the time I got to her, she was well..... flat. Now keep in mind this is a dream, and you know sometimes things in a dream are sort of comical or weird even though in the dream you just KNOW what this or that is or how it is. Sort of defies logic. She was flat, and really tiny now, like I fit her into the palm of my hand. But she was still alive. I couldn't see her head, but her heart and chest looked like a see-thru plastic thingy. And I could feel her heart beat against the inside of my palm. It was slow, and everytime it would start to slow down I would say something in the voice that I usually talk to her and it would beat fast, like she knew who I was still.

That whole part was bad enough, because when I dream.... It is VERY VERY vivid. I mean I have actually dreamt of getting hurt or feeling pain and will wake up with bruises or pains in the same spot. It's a gift I guess of dreaming in that much detail. But also can be bad when you have these types of dreams, or gods forbid nightmares. I think the part that was the worst though is how everyone else was reacting. Like nothing had happened. Which is funny to me to think about now, because in real life I view death as much the same way. When someone dies I am sorry that I won't be able to see them again, but I don't freak out. I know that they're not really gone. But animals for some reason are different, perhaps because of their innocence. Who knows? Like I said, I'm just strange.

I remember having to tell my Mom who was in the dream, to get a towel. And telling my godmother to call the vet and get the car. And they were just like standing around, not wanting to do it. (In real life they would be as frantic as I was in the dream LOL. They both love that pooch to death too!). I remember in my dream repeating that to them..... and finally I got so MAD that my exact words became.. "Call the fucking vet and get the goddamned car!" heh. I was pretty mad to say that to them lemme tell you.

Anyways she ended up dying of course, in my hands. And I couldn't help but think it was my fault, because had I not taken the walk to begin with she wouldn't have been out there to get hit. :(

So I feel shitty today. And worried about her, although I'm sure she's safe at home. The godparents are away at a doctor's appointment so I left a message on their machine. Call me stupid if you want. I don't really give a flying flip what you call me! Bah I just hate dreams like this.
Next time wake me up.

- posted by Loki's Concubine @ 9:29 AM