I'm back! No, I didn't go anywhere. I just have an extremely boring life and lately I've lacked even the motivation to imagine something funny to entertain your happy asses.

In any case, there is good news to report! It seems that some congrats are in order for my other half, the luscious lovable Woman of Scorn. That's right folks! Little Miss Thang has done gone and got herself a new job. WOOHOOO!!! You go girl! (In my best ghetto rump-shaking twang.) I'm so excited and anxious to hear about the new, wondermous world of kidney dialysis and the cleaning of plastic blood-filled kidney sacks! DAMN can life get any better than that? (Seriously though, I'm proud of ya Wos. It sounds like a good job and be damned..... I'd rather be the lucky person who gets to massage hairy testicles of the 'prized studs' at some horse ranch than work retail again.) I meant the cowboys of course! *cough cough*

And the other good news you ask? Well.... I talked to the lady from the college today. (The local technical college.) Apparently my class is still set to begin the 27th, although there are only four people signed up so far and I have to call back to make sure it's not cancelled. Hey, four people are fine with me. That's less crap to deal with and it's been ten years since I've been in school. I don't play well with others.

I'm nervous as all get out though. Reading the lovely experiences of Rabbitch didn't help matters, although as usual it was very entertaining. She was lucky enough to discover that her class resembled something that the "denizens of the seventh level of Almond-Scented Hell" had created. That would be ok with me. I'm familiar with the denizens of hell. This I could handle.

With my luck however, my instructor will be some right-wing religious fundamentalist with 80's reminiscent blonde hair whose side job is hosting the "Jerry Falwell Hour" on the TBN network.


(It's scary just how much those people resemble these plastic things. Yech creepy. If I can't find my Halloween costume I may just dress up as one of them.)

Yep, you know the ones. They usually beg for money to feed all the starving children whilst waving the 8 carat diamond platinum ring on their greasy, sausage-like fingers. No thanks man, I'd rather blow that twenty on a bottle of amaretto and some smokes. And besides, I really love almonds.

Ta-ta for now!